9 WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this means a 1/2 hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (refer to #1)

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

LOUD SIGH
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

THAT’S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

WHATEVER
Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!

DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’
For the woman’s response refer to #3.

Tags: Jokes, Women

I came across this and… giggled.

"IT’S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn’t it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON’T FUSS – I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt."

"I CAN’T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving."

"I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Tags: Jokes, Men

Many years ago, when I was a little too podgy, too short, too… well, when I was a kid, I used to have a Shetland Pony.

One year, I spotted an advert for a horse race held at Iffezheim (Baden Baden) Racecourse, called the "Bauernrennen".
This raceday is pretty unique. It’s the day when the racecourse is handed over not to Thoroughbreds — but to any horse out there. Be they Heavy Horses, Warmbloods, or Shetland ponies, Arabians, or any other horse.
If I remember correctly, this is because some time in the past, the local farmers saved the racehorses stabled there from starvation, and in return the race club established a race day for them. (I could be wrong, but that’s how I remember it.)

So on a bright and cold morning some time in June (If I remember right) we rolled up in Iffezheim with my Shetland. I knew it was probably the last year I could ride him, I was simply getting too big for him.

We had a little trouble. He was a stallion and he behaved accordingly, so we had to keep him away from the other horses.
Then, later that day, the race was on. Despite my weight, my little childhood companion (who wasn’t the most friendly of shetlands) raced into 3rd place in amongst some 20 others.

I didn’t care about prizes, I was way too happy to have taken part, but my prize was a set of Parker Pens. The real prize for me was the memory of the day, but that’s something else.

I have had, and used, those pens for years. I still have the Ballpoint of the set, but somewhere during the years, I lost the fountain pen.

I was gutted. Then forgot about it, then remembered and searched again… only to be gutted again when I couldn’t find it. It is lost.

So a while ago, when I started to pick up my fountain pens again, I tried to track down which model this was. Well I found out, they were Parker P25’s. Black ones, which are relatively rare. The P25’s tend to be silver colored. My hopes of replacing my lost pen were… not very high.

PARKER P25

A kind member from the Fountain Pen Network spotted a black P25 on Ebay and messaged me, because I’d mentioned wanting one.

I put it on my watch list. I messaged the seller, because the only shipping option listed was the US.
Well we got that part cleared up, so now I had to wait for the auction.
I sat in front of the TV today when suddenly I thought "Hang on. I think that auction finishes today. Better go check."
To my complete horror, when I logged into Ebay, there were 30 seconds left to go on the auction.
I added a bid, hoping to snag the pen, when Ebay goes "Would you like to log in?"

ARRRRGHHHH!!!!

I got in with 2 seconds to spare, or thereabouts. LUCKILY my bid was high enough to win!

I am getting my beloved black Parker back! So yeah, I’m floating now.

And this time… I’m not going to lose it again!!

Tags: Fountan Pens, P25, Parker, Pens