I hate needles.
Had to go to the hospital for a "Pre Assessment". If I'd known it would involve vampires and Frankenstein, I might have skipped.
So I spent my morning having holes poked into my arms and hands (If you want blood… I'm gonna make you work for it.), being measured, weighed (*faints*) and pressure tested (I'm not a tire! Stop pumping already!), before they attached a load of wires to me, allegedly to "test the heart".
Riiiiiiiight.

Seriously though. If any vampire came to bite me, he'd starve to death. Apparently I don't have any blood. Either that, or my body realizes a needle is here, teases with a nice vein… and then goes "Gotcha! You fell for it, didn't ya!" and hides the nice fat vein.
I wish it didn't do that.
The inevitable result is that I get turned into a sieve.
I had one particular instance, where I ended up with 17 holes in my arm.
Not my idea of "Fun".
And I'm overweight. Gah.
Gotta do something about that. Not like I didn't know, but well… I'd rather not think about it.
Looks like I have to. Oh Joy.
But at least one good thing might come out of this visit today.
The very nice nurse I saw took a look at my scars and went "There really is no reason you should have to put up with those. I know a very good plastic surgeon. Would you like me to give him a call?"
Would I ever!
So I might have an appointment with him to get my belly scars fixed. That would rock.

Tags: Me, Me myself and I

As some people might have noticed, I collect the Silhouette Nocturnes.
I usually preorder them months in advance, to make sure I get them when they come out.
Well.
Apparently Amazon "can't source" them anymore.
I've emailed Amazon — no reply.
I've emailed Harlequin — "We're looking into it", since then, nothing.
It annoys the crap out of me. I collect the series, have done since book #1, even the ones I know  I won't like. I have every single one of them, nearly 90 books so far.
Now Mills & Boon release them in their own covers, and I'm guessing this is the reason why I can't get the US covers anymore via Amazon.
The trouble is, the numbers differ, the covers are complete rubbish over here. Keep your icky covers. I haven't bought a single M&B release in years, because of those covers. I'd rather go and get the US version of the book. (Especially those disgusting pink things.)
So where does this leave me?
Up the creek in a wire mesh canoe.

Thank you so much, Amazon, M&B and Harlequin.
Sort it out, will ya?
I can't be the only UK customer who prefers the US releases!

Tags: Amazon, Harlequin, Mills & Boon, Silhouette Nocturne

I'm melting.
Well. I would, if I went outside.
For once the sun is shining and it's hot.
Unfortunately, it's too hot for me.
I'd love to sunbathe, but I don't do heat well. (Sunbathe in a spot where no one would be shocked at seeing this white elephant lying in the grass, that is!)
I used to be able to cope with it, but not anymore. Heat makes me miserable. I prefer cold.
I mean, I can always add layers — but it's kinda hard taking off more than you got lol.
I think they'd object if I came to work in a bikini. That's if I'd wear bikinis. Which I don't. Ever.
It's funny really. You know on your passport application they ask for "Distinguishing Marks". Well, I lie. Every time. I put "None".
Which really isn't true.
The trouble is, I've always put none, and never really thought about it. But I have them. Marks completely unique to me. If I listed all of them, I'd need new pages in my passport.
I mean… I have two birthmarks on the side of my nose. A scar on my forehead. A scar at the top of my forehead. A scar at the back of my head. A scar in the crook of my left arm. A scar on the ball of my right hand. A scar on my left hip. A scar at the top of my left thigh (several, actually). A scar on my right hip. Another birthmark on my right hip. And a minefield of scars on my belly. (And all but a few of those scars are from one bout of appendicitis…)
There are more, less visible scars, but dang… I'm not listing all that! I hide them. (Hence no bikini.) I'm severely self-conscious about them to the point that I will never ever wear anything that shows my belly.
I truly don't like summer, when all those beautiful bods come out and show off their unscarred smoothness. Hate it.
I once asked my doctor if there is anything they could do about those belly scars (Trust me, we aren't talking about some piddly 1 inch scar here.) and I was told "Well… there's no guarantee they can make it look any better."
Frankly?
I've lived with it for 40 years. Better looking is relative. To me, being able to get rid of the dent in my belly is "better". To me, lifting up those holes I got everywhere, is "better".
This stuff isn't just deep, it's wide.

I know it's vanity, but knowing those scars are there is depressing, especially in summer. I don't like being stared at, which would happen the second I wore a bikini.
So I don't.

*sigh*