Posts Tagged "Funny"
I received this in my mail today, and after laughing all the way through, thought I’d share it.
Why boys need parents…
- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 200 m2 house to a depth of 10 cm.
- If you spray hair spray on dust balls and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
- A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 20 Kg boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all fucking walls of a 6m x 6m room.
- You should not throw cricket balls up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a cricket ball a long way.
- The glass in windows (even double-glazed) doesn’t stop a cricket ball hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words ‘uh oh’, it’s already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
- Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
- Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how many jelly crystals you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like jelly crystals.
- VCR’s do not eject ‘BL&T’ sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- You probably DO NOT want to know what that smell is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
- The fire department in Brisbane, Qld, has a 5-minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
- It will, however, make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
80% of Men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.
Enjoy!
Tags: Boys, Funny, Jokes, Monday Mayhem
I was sent this and thought it was simply hilarious. 
Enjoy!
Phase 1
You are listening to jazz — Your first day at work is great. Your coworkers are wonderful, your cubicle is cute, and your boss is the best!
Phase 2
You are listening to pop music — After a while you are so busy that you are not sure if you’re coming or going anymore.
Phase 3
You are listening to heavy metal — This is what you feel like at month end.
Phase 4
You are listening to hip hop — You become bloated due to stress, feel sluggish and suffer from constipation. Your coworkers are too cheerful for your liking and the walls of your cubicle are closing in. You have started thinking ‘WHATEVER’ about your boss.
Phase 5
You are listening to GANGSTA RAP — After more time passes, your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a ‘good hair day’ feels like as you just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine.
Phase 6
You are listening to the voices in your head — You have build a makeshift door on your cubicle to keep people out, You have a dartboard with your bosses picture on it in your cube, You wonder why you are even here in the first place.
