I read a blog recently. (I do that, occasionally…)
The author had a "25 things about me" thing going.
I thought that was kinda fun to read, but I won’t step into those boots.
I’m just not that interesting, honest.
Instead, I’m going to try and do a 25 things I learned about writing.
I write paranormal romance, so some of this pertains to romance writing. Most of it is useful for all writing, no matter which genre you aim for.

1. If you want it to sound authentic — do your research.
2. If you make it up as you go along — keep a record of what you make up.
3. Try to establish a sense of time and place in the first paragraph.
4. Don’t describe something just for the sake of description.
5. GMC (Not the car company!) Goal, Motivation, Conflict are what moves the story. It needs each to progress and without GMC you don’t have much of a plot.
6. Suspense. You need it. It doesn’t mean a dramatic event, it just means you need to keep your reader reading. Keep the anticipation alive!
7. A book is (usually) about a person, not an event. Therefore you need to have a strong central character whose story you tell.
8. Avoid passive verbs.  Adam held the rope. vs. The rope was held by Adam.
9. Adjectives are the devil. (Allegedly.) (Don’t ask. I have no idea what I’m talking about! The link is a list of them.)
10. Adverbs are the devil. (That’s the ‘ly words, in case you wonder which I mean.)
11. You’re the reader’s entertainer. Not the lecturer.
12. Try to make dialogue sound natural, but don’t overload it with information.
13. Don’t tell me Eva cried. Show me the tears running down her face. 
14. Know thy Enemy. It’s not enough to know all about your protagonists. You need to know the antagonist very well too. You need to know what makes him / her tick, flaws, strengths and motivation.
15. Make it immediately obvious who the hero and heroine are.
16. You need a black moment where everything is lost. It’s the turning point, the place where the ending starts.
17. Read the genre you intend to write. Just because you think you can write something, you need to know the market you write for, know what’s out there.
18. If you get stuck, put it down, put it away. Let it rest. Don’t look at it, do something else. Come back a week later and look at the story with new eyes.
19. Avoid unnecessary subplots and superflous characters. (GUILTY!) If a character only shows up once in the story — consider killing them. Unless it drives the story forward, and is integral to the plot, cut it out.
20. Don’t stereotype your hero and heroine. Make them stand out. Give them quirks. Know them. 
21. If your characters sigh with relief, gasp in surprise, jump in excitement and burst out laughing a lot.. then you’re guilty of clichés. I know I am. I’m going to get a damn book on the things and try to weed them out.
22. Use clear action words. Adam ran toward the car. Did he? Or did he dash? Jog? Barrel? Race? Flee? It gives an entirely different feel if Adam fled toward the car.
23. Said. Sometimes… people just say things. I try to have action tags, rather than said’s. (That goes for gasped, breathed, choked etc too.) I could do better, but at least I’m aware of it.
24. Edit. You have to. We all sometimes write complete tripe and it needs to be cut or restructured.
25. Never, never throw anything out. If you cut a scene, save it in another file. Just because it doesn’t fit the current story — it might come handy for another one. Did I say never? I mean it.

Well hopefully you’ll find these useful.

I used to read (still do, occasionally) Edgar Allan Poe.

When I was in school, we were given a choice of poets, and he was the one I picked.
I don’t think I’ve found any poem I didn’t like.

However, every now and then I trip over something I like (and I’m a morbid person, so watch out) and add it to my favorites collection.

One of the ones I like, and think people should read at least once, is "The Bridge of Sighs" by Thomas Hood (1789-1845) (I like quite a few of his.)
Another is "The Sleeper" by Edgar Allan Poe. I’m sure everyone knows the famous Raven, but how many know The Sleeper?

There are many others out there, which ones do you like?

It’s that time of year again.

The time, when all sense goes straight out of the window and only one thing matters:

Brussel Sprouts.

The annual Brussel Sprout War is in full swing, as witnessed by myself in Waitrose earlier today.
I don’t know why people go crazy at Christmas time. You’d think everything was closed for the next eight weeks, the way some people are shopping.
Seriously, do you think you’re going to starve? That the shops run out of food by Saturday?
Worse, apparently it all hinges on a little green vegetable.

So…

Have you got your sprouts yet?

If not… you better bring a shotgun.
You’re gonna need it…

It’s the same thing every year.

Christmas Eve arrives and I get a little melancholy and homesick.

It all has to do with Christmas Tradition, the smell of the tree, the cookies I used to bake with my grandmother (Gutzle, if any Swabians happen to read this.), Butter-S’s, Glühwein!
Sorry, I digress. We didn’t really have Glühwein (Mulled Wine) on Christmas Eve. We had that during the run up to Christmas, because it was… well… cold.

We never used to bring the tree inside before Christmas Eve.
It was kind of a ritual, and the day went something like this:

Morning — Noon

We’d get the tree up three flights of stairs, into the living room. Eventually. When we worked out how to get a tree that was too wide, too tall and otherwise unwieldy, up those winding stairs and through that door, without leaving half of in on the stairs or in the banisters… One of us was always on a mission to unsnag snagged branches and hide the broken bits from mom.
There it would be erected and left to settle for an hour or so, while my dad, my brother and I climbed into the attic to go get the Christmas decorations down.
Then came the ritual "Oh no! You BROKE it!" of the dropping of any baubles that were breakable.
We would pull tinsel apart and lay it out, dig out the candle holders, the stars, the bows…
Then my mom would come in and we’d decorate the tree, taking extra care to put the candles where they wouldn’t burn anything. (Yes, REAL candles.)
Once we were all happy with our tree, we’d clear up the debris (there was always debris…) and leave the living room.
Usually by around noon.
Door shuts.
No one is allowed inside anymore.

Noon — Afternoon

I’d go downstairs to my gran’s and we’d make more cookies. (We started baking cookies on the 1st Advent, and after Christmas Eve you didn’t bake any more.)
Our cookies never lasted long. There were Butter-S’s, Vanillkipferl, Coconut Macaroons, Ausstecherle, Haslenut Macaroons… you name it, I’ve probably made it before.
Tons and tons of them. (And I’m still making them…)
I might dig out the recipes and post them some time, because they are worth preserving and making, they were that good. And there is nothing like baking with gran, or mom.
By 3pm we’d start asking if the "Christkind" had been yet. (In Germany, presents are not brought by Santa, but by the Christ Child.)
By 4pm we’d "help" my mother prepare Christmas Dinner. (I think she would have preferred us not to, but there you go… at this point we were unstoppable.)
By 5pm (it was pitch dark outside by then) we’d be camping in front of the living room door.

Afternoon — Evening

At 5pm, everything was silent outside. You didn’t hear a car move, or anything.
Then the church bells of all the churches in town would start to ring.
When they fell silent again, you would hear "Silent Night" ring out over the town, played by a trumpeter on the church spire.
I swear, I hear that, and I’ll be in tears. They probably don’t do it anymore now, but they used to, when I was a kid.

And that’s when a little bell would ring in the living room.
My mom turned all the lights off. Every single one.
It was a time when I held my breath, waiting… waiting for that door to open.

And then it did.
And all you saw was the lit tree, sparkling tinsel in the dark room, glistening baubles, stars…

Magic.

I tried hard to find anything that could do justice to that view.
Below is pretty close to what we’d see when that door opened.
 

Merry Christmas!

I hope your Christmas is a magical as mine used to be.

I’m off to London today, to show the husband of a fellow Critter around.

Of course, I just broke my camera — figures. I might grab one on the way in, and make Paul carry the box after we meet up with him "At work".

Things on the agenda:

The High Court

Temple Church

Holly Village / Highgate West

Waxy O’Connor’s (The pub!)

St. Pauls (I’ve lived here all this time and I’ve never been inside.)

Old Bailey

Maybe a trip on a "Duck".

We’ll see!

I was sent this and thought it was simply hilarious.

Enjoy!

Phase 1

You are listening to jazz — Your first day at work is great. Your coworkers are wonderful, your cubicle is cute, and your boss is the best!

Phase 2

You are listening to pop music — After a while you are so busy that you are not sure if you’re coming or going anymore.

Phase 3

You are listening to heavy metal — This is what you feel like at month end.


Phase 4

You are listening to hip hop — You become bloated due to stress, feel sluggish and suffer from constipation. Your coworkers are too cheerful for your liking and the walls of your cubicle are closing in. You have started thinking ‘WHATEVER’ about your boss.


Phase 5

You are listening to GANGSTA RAP — After more time passes, your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a ‘good hair day’ feels like as you just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine.


Phase 6

You are listening to the voices in your head — You have build a makeshift door on your cubicle to keep people out, You have a dartboard with your bosses picture on it in your cube, You wonder why you are even here in the first place.

    Those who know me, know I like Achmed, the Dead Terrorist.

    Well.

    I now have him as my ringtone.

    If you want it, you can download the MP3′s here:

    Knock Knock

    I kiel you.

    Enjoy

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this means a 1/2 hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (refer to #1)

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

LOUD SIGH
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

THAT’S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

WHATEVER
Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!

DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’
For the woman’s response refer to #3.

I came across this and… giggled.

"IT’S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn’t it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON’T FUSS – I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt."

"I CAN’T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving."

"I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."